Near Eden

One might think that driving 3.5 hours in the pouring rain would be a less than pleasant experience. Most times, they'd be right. Yesterday however, despite the buckets of rain splashing accross my windshield, I was still able to be absolutely enthralled with the landscape as I drove from Pickering to my new destination: Port Burwell.

As I drove along, past streets with rows of tall shrubs that made me feel like I was in the Queen's maze from Alice in Wonderland, I noticed certain town names that made me smile. I passed through a small town named Eden; a town so small you can blink and it's gone. I felt it was poetic. I am also situated near a town called Vienna (although at this point, I may have confused myself on the name of that). Naming small rural townships after far-away, exotic, idylic places made me think of a book I read, or a movie I saw, in which a run-down town that was nearly deserted had named all of its streets after famous places, and one got a sense of tragic irony that no one from that town would ever really travel to them. I remembered at once how much I liked that concept, and the sad cleverness of it came back to me as I drove through the rain, singing along with Dashboard and Death Cab, thinking how wonderful it was to be able to say I was situated somewhere near Eden...

I am happy to say that I will have constant internet access while I'm hear at "The Ark" (which is the name for the huge renovated church I am living in with my 11 other new compadres). Yesterday I recieved my first ESL lesson, and as I sit here on one of the AMAZING, huge, plush couches, the ESL teacher sits in front of me, getting our lessons ready for today, while our live-in cook seems to be making toast and tea for us....ooo, also she made waffles for us yesterday.... Everything we consume will be home made. The menonites are going to treat me right.

I will be taking some pictures hopefully today of my new surroundings. Yesterday, the 6 of us who are here already went down to the "beach", which is not accessable directly from where we are, but there is a huge sandy cliff which is absolutely goregous which I can't wait to show all of you!

It looks like everyone is up now, ready to eat, so I shall stop being antisocial and join them.

Miss you all!!

--Natalie

Fears and Excitements

I am feeling scared and excited all at once. I never do well when I have a lot on my plate, and right now is no exception. I have just over a week left until I leave, and it's exciting, but it's also freaking me out. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I like to plan out my thoughts so that they make more sense. So here is a list of my current fears and my current excitements:

Fears

Making the wrong choice
Saying the wrong thing
Trusting that God knows better than I do
Being hurt emotionally
Hurting others emotionally
Using fear as an excuse so as not to have to make a decision
Meeting new people
Leaving old friends
Forgetting to pack some intrinsically important thing
Upper and Lower back problems due to asparagus farming
Arthritis problems in my wrists due to asparagus farming
Forgetting to take my medication before leaving for Guatemala
Not getting into the courses I want for next year
Leaving my mom and brother to deal with family issues alone
Allowing myself to be who God wants me to be
Allowing myself to be hurt to be strengthened
Trying at something that I can't see the outcome of right now
Having my impatience make up my mind instead of having God make up my mind

Excitements

Being done school
Getting to start my reading list!!!
Making Amanda's quilt
Campfires on the beach
Friends coming to visit me
Bradley's cardigan
Margeaux's fresh start
Mark's potential canadian idol status
Amanda's wedding
Almost being finished my teaching block
Meeting new friends
Having Shinanigans on the farm with Jenna
Potentially getting in shape
Having alone time with God
Climbing mountains
Doing God's will

My fears seem to outweigh my excitements. I'm scared to move on, scared to leave the comfort of my shell. In all aspects of my life, I find it hard to move forward. I've made this space for myself, a life that is comfortable. It is filled with love and joy and ease. I don't get hurt, I don't get lonely, I don't get challenged (other than by myself). How can I detatch myself from my comfort? In what ways am I supposed to? I hope beyond all hopes that this trip will clear the fog in my head; I pray that it will open my eyes to the decisions I face right now, but maybe also to the decisions that I have no idea about yet.

9 more days till it all begins and ends.

The Prologue

So, here I go. ANOTHER website added to the internet, another grand, vast, unwavering waste of time. Perhaps this blog will be different though... Yes, of course it will, because THIS is the blog with a PURPOSE! I have started this blog in order to share my thoughts and experiences as I depart from my friends and family for 4 months in order to take part in a missions trip with Global Shores. I hope that through this blog, I will be able to express the wonderful things God will no doubt reveal to me, as well as keep my loved ones connected to me throughout my time away. This sounds like some kind of letter of appeal at this point, so perhaps I should end it quickly.

I DO hope that everyone will make use of this website and keep tabs on me and write me often...or else I might go crazy, since every time I go away I pretty much feel like I will A: never meet anybody as awesome as the friends I alreay have, and B: come back to find that none of my friendships are the way they were before. Both of these statements are of course untrue, yet I tend to think them all the same. Don't let my neuroses get the best of me ;)

Here's to new adventures in lands of green!

<3 Natalie, Asparagus Princess