An unsettling homecoming

Tonight I met with a close friend.
After meandering through a few dramatic moments in our lives these past few months, I began to quickly realize that she was not asking me any questions about my experience in a foreign country, and so I began instead to ask her about her life here back in Cananda.
We did all the regular things we used to do, make dinner and watch some television, but as we did so, I was on the verge of tears to realize that someone I felt so close to could be so disinterested in my life as to not be the least bit excited to hear about a potentially life changing situation. I was shocked to find how easily we slipped back into routine as if life had never changed.

I want life to change.

Margeaux and I are discussing right now that perhaps as Christians, the aim of loving people is not for self gratification, meaning to get something in return, but simply to love people for the sake of loving them, for the sake of realizing in them that they are a worthy creation of God. Although we often coin the term "love your neighbour as yourself", we often expect that if we do this, our neighbour will in turn take the same initiative to love us back equally. This is certainly not a reality that most relationships will achieve.

I struggle with the notion of staying in friendships that are not equal for the sake of loving people who need love. Kerri and I have often debated if certain people in our lives were only there to take our love and not reciprocate it, and if we as Christians are supposed to be ok with that. I would say yes, but it is a hard yes to agree to and to live out.

The people of Guatemala seemed never to tire of each other. Every day was a day spent taking interest in the lives of their loved ones, and perhaps it is this type of loving and community that I am dearly missing right now. I pray that in time, I can find or create that type of community back here in Cananda. It might not be so easy as I thought...